Birth Day! Part 2

Will be edited by Josh soon. He remember some of this day better than me. 

Part 2:

In the new room we adored the babies, did some nursing, and pumping. I was still managing the pain of my hip and cramps, but it was much more tolerable. One beautiful distraction was the bouquet Bob and Ruthan sent. It was very fragrant. About 4:00pm my mom left to try to get home in the light. 

After supper, Nana brought Caleb, Aunt Boogie, and cousin Lincoln to meet the babies. Caleb came in asking, "Mommy! What happened?" He was concerned about me and all the bracelets on my wrist. He thought they were for owies. I assured him they were ok. At first he just inspected the room and pointed out the cribs are for sleeping babies. After a bit of distraction he did peek in on Mollie and William. After a while the babies opened their eyes and Caleb commented, "Babies awake!"

Josh was holding them and said, "Yea, they woke up to see you."

"To see me?!" Caleb exclaimed. "Play with me? Play with me? Babies come get me. Come get!" He started to run away from the babies, looking back ate them. 

We told him they couldn't get him, but he could tickle the babies. So he went over there and said, "Tickle, Tickle." 

Josh pretended that the babies laughed. 

So cute!

Sadly two toddlers in a small hospital room isn't very easy and so we had to say goodbye. 

Tonight Josh stayed at the hospital with me, sleeping on the couch. Not the most comfortable evening for me, but he was there for the early morning doctor rounds on Friday then. 

Their names

My brother called the other night and said, "So where did Mollie come from?" If I was more of a Smart Alec I would have asked him to repeat 4th grade health, or talk to our parents regarding a remedial Birds & Bees convo,... but I'm not:) 

The truth is all the names we chose have family signifcance. We love the names on their own, and we love that we have relationships to those names. 

Mollie - Her great, great, great grandmother's name on the Miller side was Mollie.

= means wished-for child, bitter

Norma - Her paternal great grandmothers' on both the Monson and Miller side are named Norma. Josh and I made this realization during our first date. What a coincidence that we both had Grandma Norma's. Women we both love deeply.

William - His great grandpa and his great, great grandpa are named William on the Harjes (Bri's mother's side) side of the family. Great Grandpa Bill is actually named after his father and is a William Harjes, Jr.  - His great, great, great grandpa was also named William on the Miller side, but went by his middle name Preston. 

= means determined protector

Mark - His grandpa Monson, Bri's father, is named Mark. A man loved and missed tremendously. 

So we are thrilled they are here, that they are rooted in loved ones' names, and will make their own names for themselves. 

Birth Day! Part 1

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I did not sleep well Wednesday night. Pressure changed and it was very difficult to move and walk. I wasn't having contractions I could feel though. I called to schedule my follow up blood pressure check at 8:30am. I asked to talk to the nurse to describe the pressure/pain change and she recommended I see Dr Taylor at the same time as my blood pressure check. So I went to the clinic at 9:30 for my appointment. It was sunny and fairly mild, but a blizzard was on the way. Streets were already icy in spots from yesterday's melt. On the way to the appointment I got a text from Josh at 9:11 "Keep me posted ASAP. My gut is telling me it's go time..." I responded, " I will keep my phone on me and not on vibrate:) I love you." 

My blood pressure was back to normal when the nurse checked, 118/68. Pulse 77. I text Josh the results and he responded:

9:28 "Good girl. Maybe your heart just needed tacos." (Supper the night before.)

9:29 "and oles."

I responded 9:29 ";-D"

As I walked to the exam room with the nurse, Dr Talor was in the hall. He said, "This worked out. I was supposed to be in Fairmont today, but due to the weather stayed. You're my only patient today. In the exam room Dr Taylor checked to see if my water had broken, and it hadn't. Then he checked my cervix. I was 6+cm! His nurse Sarah, smiled and clapped. He said, "We'll take you over to labor and deliver to monitor, but I would say you're in labor." I got dressed and left Josh a voicemail. Then I text him: 

9:46 I'm at 6+. 

9:48 It's go time. 

One of the nurses, Jen, came in and wished me luck. She was excited for me. Then Nurse Sarah came with the wheel chair to go to the hospital. Dr. Taylor said he'd push me over. On the way he explained that I would be delivering in the operating room in case there needed to be an emergency extraction on Baby B. He explained there would be a nurse for each baby and me, an ultrasound machine and tech, the hospital pediatrician, and the anthesiologist just in case. Plus him, Josh, and me:) It sounded like a full room and it was, but more on that later. 

They got me settled me into a room, found the babies on the fetal heart monitors, and at 10:10 Dr Taylor broke my water. He said, "And now you're committed." Babies would be coming!

10:20 Josh walked in the room. He had a grabbed a few things at home so we were set, for awhile any way. My contractions started to grow in intensity slowly at first, but things gained momentum. Dr a Taylor checked me and said I was at a 9 and just about complete so they should start transporting me to the operating room, again just as a precaution. It was about 11:50am. I close my eyes during contractions, so I just kept my eyes shut as Josh was given scrubs, nurses were in and out, and suddenly my bed was moving. The operating room was full of people and equipment. The nurses were all very encouraging and excited for me and the babies. We really had excellent care. I was still on my side breathing through contractions when Dr Taylor leaned over and said, "By the way, if this helps, you're going for the gold."

Josh was on my left side holding my hand, while I had a nurse with holding each leg. I had lots of coaches but I listened mostly for Josh to chant "Go, go, go..." And then for Dr. Taylor to tell me to stop.  I pushed three times during a contraction, had a small break, and then pushed three more time during the next contraction. 

It was 12:22 and Dr Taylor said, "We have a girl." Mollie Norma was born. They wiped off on my chest, gave me a chance to look her over, and then taken to the warmer. 

Mollie Norma

Dr. Taylor then broke my second sac of water and contractions started right up. Again I pushed three times through the first contraction, got a very brief break and then pushed twice in the second contraction and was told to stop. 

It was 12:38 and Dr. Taylor said, "And a boy!" William Mark is born. They also wiped him off on my chest, and then they took him to the warmer since he wasn't too active. 

William Mark

Josh stayed by my side the entire time. Even though labor was done, I was in a lot of pain as my uterus immediately started contracting and cramping. It's a very healthy thing, but it made me grit my teeth. No pain meds up until then, but I could have used some then. My left hip ached too. Luckily Josh kept me grounded and I was able to make it just fine. During this time both placentas were birthed and I needed no stitching. 

Within 10 minutes I had both babies on my chest, snuggling. Wow! I can't even write about what that felt like. I think I even said something like, "Whoa, I just had two babies!" To be honest I was proud of myself and them for being so healthy already. No oxygen needed or anything! 

From top to bottom: Mollie, William, Mommy

Proud Parents

We did it!

Babies went to the nursery to stay under warmers. Their temps were a little low, especially Will's, but not dangerous. I went back to my room for recovery. I asked for some Motrin and the nurse was quick to ask the pharmacy for me. Those cramps were kind of kicking my butt. My mom came about 1:30 to help with recovery and adore her grandbabies. Nurses came in to tell me Will's blood sugar was a little low so I tried to express colostrum, but didn't really get any. They gave him just a little formula to boost his numbers and it worked well.

Oma is in love!

Weighed the babies. Here are their stats:

Mollie Norma weighed 5lb 10.6oz, 19 inches long

Head 13 1/4", Chest 12"

William Mark weighed 5lbs 12.4oz, 20 1/2 inches long

Head 13", Chest 11 1/2"

Babies were warm enough to come to the room and they weighed each baby and then together. I will post later the picture of the two on the scale. Little Mollie put her foot in her brother's neck. Josh and my mom were giggling.

William

Mollie

First fight?

We moved rooms about 3:30 and on the way visited the babies in the nursery. My cramping was finally more at a minimum and I could just bask in how cute my little ones were. While in the nursery, my friend and colleague, Robin, stopped with her daughter Maddie. They brought adorable bears for Mollie and William. Sadly they couldn't hold the babies, but they obviously understood and were happy to adore through the glass.

Our new room was 5210. 

To be contined...

**Mollie is spelled with an ie, not y. I'm typing on mobile devices and sometimes it autocorrects it and I don't catch it. 

Practice run

Wednesday afternoon I got a shiny floater in my eye. After about 10 minutes it finally disappeared. Then an hour later my left thumb went numb. It was two very odd symptoms, so on the advice of my mother I called the clinic right before it closed. They said to come into Urgent Care at the clinic, knowing that they may send me to the ER or 5th floor (maternity). 

Josh wasn't home yet, so I called Nana to love on Caleb while I went in. Josh met me there. My blood pressure was high for me, but not dangerous. However due to the stage of my pregnancy and twins, Urgent Care decided to check me in at the ER and take me up to 5th floor for monitoring. 

They hooked me up to contraction and fetal heart rate monitors. The also did lab tests. Babies looked good, and I had mostly small contractions, with a couple I definitely felt! Labs came back good with just low hemoglobin, so I got a prescription for iron. After an hour of monitoring, my blood pressure lowered back to normal. So with all the good results I was discharged. 

I had a wonderful nurse taking care of me, Rita. She stayed extra to discharge me. She was so reassuring and kind. She answered my questions very patiently. I felt blessed to have such a knowledgeable woman keeping an eye on my babies and me. 

Because we didn't get discharged until about 8:45pm, Caleb is sleeping over at Nana Miller's. She told Josh that Caleb asked to go to bed:) I'm glad he is doing so great. It's another peace of mind that he does well if he is at someone else's house. 

All in all our trial hospital run went very well. I'm back to bed, drinking fluids and resting. Here's to babies growing and my body handling it. 

34.5 weeks

Ouch! My skin is so smooth from stretching to its limits, it shines waxy looking. My belly no longer curves round, but rather has its own landforms of mountains sticking out, underneath being butts, feet, or heads. Sitting, laying, or standing takes frequent readjustment for my back and hips. I can do little to ease this discomfort other than use our overworked heating pad and pillows. The tougher battle is my mental state. To give in to the symptoms listed above would mean a weepy and depressed Bri. Instead I try to focus on the health of the babies being so good and the snuggles I get with Caleb. It's hard to read right now, and I don't nap in the afternoon so that I can better sleep at night. I sleep in/nap each morning to get the needed rest. Luckily, the Olympics have kept me occupied! Last week I didn't have anyone for lunch or a daytime visit which made the days feel overwhelming and long. I didn't realize until Friday morning. Luckily, I did have supper from my friend and coworker, Meghan, and both my mother-in-law and mom came a night. Caleb is here and keeps me company, and busy, in the evenings too. 

Today I had a 1.5 hour ultrasound. The bigger the babies get the harder it is for them to see and measure everything, which means more pressure to get the pictures they need. The technician was very sweet, but it was quite uncomfortable. We had a dome pillow for under my legs, and she stopped to let me adjust, but it still wasn't great. The good part was every picture led to good news. They did the biophysical profile again, and again each baby got 8 out of 8 points. Each baby is measuring about a week ahead, give or take of course. And baby boy is 5lbs 10oz, and baby girl is 6lbs., give or take a pound. That means they are 5-7 pounds! Wow! They are still doing a great job at their practice breathing, and their heartbeats are strong. Their heads are big like Caleb's and measure about a week ahead of everything else. I really don't need to push out two 15cm heads. Once with Caleb was enough. 

When Dr Taylor came in he was thrilled and said, "Way to go! 8 out of 8!" I then showed him the Olympic results card for the Taylor Twinathalon between his other two patients with twins and me. He had a good laugh! We're all due within three days of each other. No one has had their babies yet, which is amazing. I'm going for the silver:)

Taylor checked and said I was about 3.5cm dialated and 70% effaced. Because we're post 34 weeks and babies are doing well, he has no concerns that I'm that far. If I go into labor we won't stop anything. It could be soon or it could be another 3 weeks. He doesn't think I'll make it that long, but delivery prediction isn't a way to make money:) Dr. Taylor won't let me go longer than 38 weeks. To be honest I'm worried how big both babies would be in another 3 weeks. I am amazed by my body, but I don't need to be SUPER amazed:) Plus I would like to deliver them naturally, and that's more likely if they aren't 9lbs+ each:) 

Most nights Josh runs upstairs to work on the upstairs bedroom and bathroom. It's not easy to have the stress of the remodel and the babies coming any day, but we are handling it fairly well. We deal with it each separately so we don't add more stress to each other. I trust his remodeling decisions and he trusts that I'm doing what I need to grow babies:) I look forward to the upstairs done as much as the babies being here so family time returns. When Josh is downstairs he wrestles with Caleb and Woody in ways I can't. He's such a great Daddy! 

I'm so blessed to have so many friends and family praying for us and supporting us as we are now in the final stretch (literally). I'm so grateful and praise God for his blessings and good health on our family during all of this. 

With all that being said, it is my prayer now that babies come in their time, AND that God gives me the strength and endurance to handle it, physically, emotionally, and mentally. 

Baby A and Baby B, we can't wait to meet you and love you. Be good to each other in there, and we'll see you soon!

Mommy/Bri

 

Falling in love...

I am extremely blessed. God protected my heart. There were a few crushes and attempts at falling for a guy, but God held me back until I met Josh. Josh is the only man I ever fell in love with. He is the only one I have said, "I love you," to, and continues to be. Yes I love my siblings and parents, but this love is different. At times I felt lonely and angry that the right guy hadn't come into my life earlier, but looking back now I am so grateful. Some might disagree and say that dating and relationships along the way help you determine what you really need/want in a marriage, but I guess I learned enough from a couple dates and the experiences of my friends. Sorry you had break ups and heartbreaks, but it helped me out:)

The best thing about falling in love with one man is now I can say the only men I have ever fallen in love with are in my family. It only took a second, but it was love at first sight with Caleb too. And then I looked up and fell in love with my husband all over again. Watching my husband fall in love with his son are moments I will cherish forever. Caleb daily steals my heart over and over again. Josh dances with me in the kitchen and makes me smile only the way he can. Blessed! A catch of a lifetime!

And what's even greater? I am about to set eyes on the next two loves of my life. Two more lives, personalities, giggles, cheeks, and hugs to fall in love with! I wish them here any moment, so the love and kisses can start now. In the meantime I will just love them through my skin:)

God gets it right...
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not harm you; plans to give you hope, and a future."

I have trusted this verse for a long time and kept it as my mantra when I feel a little lost. God is good, all the time. And all the time, God is good.

Happy Valentine's Day!
Bri

Caleb 4/19/2011

Bri's Birthday 5/2/2006 - Bri & Josh

Pregnancy is...

Pregnancy is a gift.

As a woman you think you should be able to have a baby when you are "ready" because you did the whole "becoming a women," sat through the health classes, felt your hormones make you spin, got zits, spent money on monthly necessities, and endured pain. Yet somehow trying and being unsuccessful at getting pregnant is a secret. Just like all things we are quick to announce our successes, but we hide our failures. Not that getting my period is a great day any time, but I mourned each month when I knew My husband and I wanted it to work that time. The first few months of trying to get pregnant were easier, but as I get closer to a year it started to wear on me, because instead of something just not falling into place that month, the reality was something could be wrong. Plus, I had done the healthy things to make my body ready for a baby and didn't drink alcohol. It saddened me to think something was wrong, which meant doctors, tests, money, and more time without having a baby.

During this time, I was truly happy for friends and family getting pregnant. Oddly it was the people who were open about their monthly disappointments that frustrated me. For example, someone had just started trying and after one month shared she had a negative pregnancy test and was depressed. I laughed inwardly and thought of myself and many others who tried much longer than that and maybe even after years were unable to be pregnant. It felt dramatic. But here I am being a hypocrite because at one point I too was disappointed after just a month, I was just at a different point in the journey now and managed it differently. 

It's kind of like miscarriages, when is the right time to share the news? When you're trying? Not getting pregnant? Pregnant? Not staying pregnant? When the baby is born? It seems that women's bodies and what they do with them in the reproductive and early years of raising babies has become quite polarizing. I am disappointed in myself when I think about how I was about to laugh when a woman was disappointed after one month of trying to get pregnant. I am glad that I didn't act on that initial response, and instead offered her encouragement and prayer, but I still judged her for a moment. Instead we are sisters in spirit, craving the calling of motherhood. We need to rally for one another.

Last spring we had just had our first meeting with a nurse practioner about having tests done to find out if there was a reason we weren't getting pregnant, and to consider treatments/medications. We had this same appointment with a different doctor the month we actually got pregnant with Caleb on our own two years earlier. I don't know if going to the doctor relinquished some stress, but that month everything fell into place on its own after 14 months of trying. We got our firstborn son, Caleb. I was hoping for a similar effect this time. Around the time of setting up this appointment I spent the weekend with a friend I had not seen for years. She and I confided in one another that getting pregnant was not easy. My friend had yet to get pregnant and they had tried several treatments plans. She shared that few friends and family members knew because she didn't want them asking if she was pregnant yet. It added to the stress and disappointment, and it also limited her circle of support sadly. What a Catch 22. I've always believed in the power of prayer so I tend to share when I or my family has  a need, but I have many friends and family members who feel differently. I understand both sides and wonder where the judgement comes from? Back to the question about when is the right time to share our needs, disappointments, successes, and decisions. 

I am reflective on this today because we are about to have twins. Instead of people asking if we did fertility, they ask if there are twins in the family. It's a PC way to find out, and I don't think I take offense. The truth is we have twins on both sides. Nothing in our immediate siblings or parents, but among our cousins, and grandparents' families. While we were dating we figured this out and both said we'd like to have twins some day. God heard us:) The second truth is we did testing and found that my uterus did not make a thick enough lining for an egg to implant well. Didn't mean it wasn't impossible, clearly Caleb is here, but that it was less likely to get pregnant easily. So one month of oral medication later, we were pregnant, and at 8 weeks we had an ultrasound showing twins. We had immediate family praying for us and doctor's assisting. I don't know which had more influence over the two lives that are about to make their presence known to the world, but we are blessed they are coming. 

Pregnancy is a gift, not a given. With that mindset I will do my best to stay positive and muscle through these final weeks and days of discomfort. I had unpleasant pregnancy side effects from the beginning (take after my mom), but it is a sacrifice I know many women wish they could experience. And if/when I do complain, please take it with a grain of salt knowing that I know you would if you could, and I should be grateful to have the chance to be pregnant. Perspective is difficult to maintain in our pain, whether it be physical, emotional, or mental. My mom taught me the mantra for delivery, "It hurts so good. It hurts so good..." I'm using it already.

And truly it isn't about whether you were pregnant and birthed a child, or you felt called to adopt, or you are the best aunt ever ...

Loving children is a gift, a blessing, and a big job.

I aim not to take it for granted. 

Bri