I remember Caleb's first night home. He had fallen asleep and I laid him in his bassinet next to my bed, and went back to the living room. I had the monitor but it wasn't long before I needed to see with my eyes that he was ok and hear him breathe. I looked down at his calm body, but was not satisified that he was breathing. My heart skipped as I leaned over to hover just above his face where I could finally hear his quiet and peaceful sighs. As I walked back out I wondered how I was going to make it if I needed to check his breathing that closely! But motherhood has not been that tense. In fact, I believe Caleb has spoiled me.
He is a snuggler, and affectionate to family. He will jump up to sit by me and snuggle into my side saying, "Mommy. Mommy. Mmm. Mmm." He looks up at me with a sweet smile and soft blue eyes. He shows that he is safe and content next to me. Caleb has liked snuggling since the beginning. He loved being swaddled and his daddy is the best at it!
Caleb has really been a great sleeper. He never had his days and nights confused. As a nursing momma, I really don't remember hating night feedings. Our first several weeks I was still high on adenaline and on cloud 9 to be a mommy. I woke easily and gladly to meet his needs. He took a Nuk and was easy to get to sleep. When it came to be put down awake so he learned to sleep on his own, I couldn't handle the 'cry it out' method, and he was stubborn, so I found a book by The SleepLady and used her method. It was a slow and smooth transistion and he's been doing well since. For a stage he would run and climb into his bed happily for bedtime. Now it's a bit more begrudgingly.
What a great eater! He latched immediately and nursed quickly. He rarely needed to burp and I can't remembering him spitting up! Nursing was easy for us and I wish I could have done it longer, but my work schedule and stress put an end to my supply at about 7-8 months. When we switched to solids he again devoured food. We did cereal and veggies, then meat, for his first few months of solids and it paid off. He eats fruits and veggies gladly. Fruit is a great treat for him! But he'll eat his weight in broccoli.
He has his moments and tears but nothing that isn't turned around quickly. I think he may have reached 5 minutes once. When occassionally needed he takes timeouts well, with apologies and hugs after. Discipline goes well for being 2 1/2. In fact he sits in the timeout, takes a breath, flaps his arms down, and slunches his shoulders with guilt (or frustration). Stinking cute! Thank goodness he does not face me or he would see my grin.
Daycare is phenominal and we are lucky to have Amy provide such a nurturing and loving place for Caleb to learn and play. Caleb has always been good about babysitters, staying with grandparents, or getting dropped off at Daycare. I never need to worry and he lets me leave with hardly ever a tear, but rather a, "Bye Mommy. Have a good day!" And when he is picked up, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy..." There is usually at least one big hug too:)
Today he stopped what he was doing, picked up a craft feather and ran at me saying, "Tickle, tickle." Boy he knows how to make me laugh!
He is sensing the transition and prefers me to anyone right now. He wants to play with me on the floor, in his fort, or at the table. He wants me at night and he wants to sit by me. A few days I have gotten 'touched' out and go to the bathroom for a break. Yes, he still comes asking for me, but saying I'll be out in a minute usually suffices.
I know I'll regret this many times over and over but as he pulls me over to show something or snuggle for the 100th time that day, I have recently muttered, "Can you love me a little less?" I'll regret my words the first time he runs to Daddy instead of me, when he asks me not to hug or kiss him in public, when he calls a different girl instead of me for advice or encouragement, and many other times. Because the truth is I can not love him less. That's the most amazing truth of being a mother. He can aggrevate, whine, cry, and pout, but I cannot, will not love him less! He is my firstborn, sweet, intelligent, funny, 99th percentile son. A growing, loving boy who looks to me for reassurance, boundaries, and love. I pray God will grant me a long life and the wisdom to be his mother for all my days.
I love you, Caleb!
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